About Me....

Well I was changing my Myspace profile, and I actually got pretty detailed thought I'd share it...I need some help shaving it down....


It was time for a change, new year start out fresh right?

I'm 27 years old, I live in smalltown USA, where if you don't want someone to know, they are SURE to know all about it before your even sure the details yourself....

I work at a medical products plant, I'm a volunteer firefighter for Apollo Hose Co. #2, and I'm a trained massage therapist which I practice in my spare time and am hoping to pursue a little more throughly in 2008.

Work...I work at Cook Vascular full time, in the 'Lead Extraction' department. We make devices that remove Heart lead devices (such as pacemaker leads when the time comes to have them replaced). I've been there over 9 years now, I never in a million years thought I'd be able to say I worked ANYWHERE for 9 years. When I was hired there it was for a year til I went back to school to pursue a career in Computer Science. Well how the times have changed me.

Firehall...I have been a member of the same fire department for 13 years. I joined as a 'junior firefighter' on my 14th birthday. I was pretty much born into the place, I grew up there, as my family has always been involved. I'm a 3rd Generation firefighter after my dad and my grandfather. Currently I will be starting my second year in a 2 year term as Fire Department President, and I am also the appointed Accountability Officer, who's job is to be accountable for everyone on the fire or emergency scene. We are still trying to develop our system, as that position is new as of middle of 2007.


Massage...I'm a trained massage therapist. Finished Massage School in 2004, since then I have taken a couple extra classes to learn some 'energy work' and 'Hot Stone Massage'. Life has kept me busy and I've gotten away from trying to build my own massage business, I'd like to try to work on that a bit more this coming year and see if I can make a go of it!

Aside from all of that, I love my friends and my family, and of course my puppy Wickett! :) And enjoy spending time with them.

Merry Christmas!

Just taking a moment before I head out to help with the cooking preperations.

The gift is done, just have to wrap it...right after I show my mom to see what she thinks.

Wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Please be safe! Enjoy the love of family and friends and remember what its really about!


Love to all my friends!

Christmas preperation

Well, just finished the last of the Christmas cookie baking, did the traditional sugar cookie baking with the Momma, minus our little decorator, he's getting too OLD to bake cookies.... :( So needless to say, our cookies aren't as elaborate as years past. I'm trying very hard to stay in the christmas spirit. We are just having 'family day' this year, have been very minimal on the presents, a lot of small things under the tree. Nothing major, nothing to put me into major dept this year.

Actually, a lot of my presents are homemade....the biggest undertaking of which I am STILL putting off at this very moment by sitting here blogging instead of dragging out the scrapbooking things. As presents go, this one should be fairly easy, I just am afraid he is going to hate it. One of my best friends, I have been invited to join his family for their Christmas celebration on the 26th, he's one of 3 children and I love his parents as if they were my own. The sisters and his mom were easy, his dad wasn't quite so easy, but problem solved, he's the only one not getting a handmade gift not counting the cookie tray I'll be taking. Now there is just the boy....I have all the pictures printed out, that was half the battle in itself deciding what to use....now its just putting them all together....I have about 1000 ideas floating around in my head...just don't know how I'm going to put them out there on the pages.

I have chosen to make a me and my best friend album, for the most part....and I'm so afraid by making a not choosing something more general its not going to be as much enjoyed....I think that's why I keep putting this off. I only have tonight truely to work on it before Holiday festivities commence, last night I couldn't do anything cause he was here with me.....

Schedule looks like this....

• Pre Holiday dinner with parents best friends 4p.m. today Including cards following dinner and cleanup.
• Tomorrow, get up, walk across street to commence Christmas cooking, Ham, potatoes and whatever else mom tells me we're making.
  
• Christmas Eve dinner at 4 p.m.
• Time with Family
• Christmas morning presents, Christmas breakfast and family day.
• Sleep, 4:30 a.m. alarm clock to try to make up some of the pay for being off with no pay on Monday.....
• Work til 3:30....places to go you see....
  
• Stop home for presents, cookies and the Wickett..... head to Extended family Christmas function.

I feel like that darned character from Alice in Wonderland...I'm late, I'm late, I'm late for a very important date....

So in the world of being a firefighter, you basically sign up to drop everything and anything ANY time someone needs help in an emergency capacity, whether its 3 a.m. or just as your sitting down to a special dinner with your family.

Not only is it tis the season in the holiday sense, its also the season for those volunteer alarms to ring more frequently, be it for a fender bender cause the winter weather makes the roads a bit slippery or as unfortunate as it is and as has happened a few times in the last few weeks, someone loosing their house and all their worldly belongings. Its a very sad thing.

In the volunteer 'business' there is always along with the safety of other people, its the safety of your own, those coming out to FIGHT the fire and try to save what we can. In my department I am called the 'accountability officer' I keep track of those on the emergency scene, where they are and are they safe. Its a very HUGELY important job, cause it helps insure no one gets left behind. I'm fairly good at 'picking' people out in a crowd, at least in fire capacity.

I have grown up with people at my firestation, I've been there pretty much since the day I was born. Being an only child, I have adopted my own exteneded family as we all spend so much time at that home away from home, I don't know if there is any other way to think of them. Then there are the other people that you choose to have in your life as friends that you meet along the way do to the service that fall into that same place in your life. There are quite a few, the don't belong to my station, besides the ones I grew up with that don't run at my station anymore that I love very much or care very deeply about. . .

So when the tones drop for my neighbor company and they say 'WORKING STUCTURE FIRE' There is a bit of panic, knowing those loved ones are going, and I'm not gonna be there to watch and keep track all myself. I go get dressed warm, head out to help with coffee detail, when MY tones drop for standby. Go to station, sit and twiddle my thumbs, come home and get a msg from my dear 'daughter'* saying 'my baby and my dad were on the same line...I was scared!'
My heart DROPS!

This is when I HATE not being in the same department as all my loved ones!!!


*Said daughter is 16 year old amazing sweet girl who sometimes lovingly refers to me as MOM, said daughter also has a sweetheart boyfriend, and dad's pretty cool too.


Picture is from last night....

I made it thru the night!

Well, first venture in the 'trying to be friends' thing happened last night. Common friend home from the military, was invited to go out with the group, decided not to go yesterday morning, I had a bad feeling.....as the night went on feeling went away, knew he'd be there with his new girl. After the begging of my friend, and knowing there were others out and MY crew was only 2 minutes away I beautified and headed out.

I wish I could have taken a picture of his face when I walked in, cause I'm pretty sure his immediate trip to the bathroom after was to clean his pants cause I'm pretty sure he shit them! She seems very nice, we were in a joint conversation with Tan. Very quiet cause she didn't know any of us, and WAY too nice for him, but what do I know?

It WAS a fun night, I'm very glad I went out.We got to 'my' club (excuse the ownership lol) had a blast, and at that point just stayed on the opposite end of the bar. Got gently abused by 2 of my favorite KT guys, almost got 'SUCKER' written on my forehead LITERALLY! But it was good fun.

AND FOR THE BEST PART.... wait for it, wait for it.....
I MADE IT THRU THE WHOLE NIGHT AND DIDN'T CRY ONCE!!!!!! Not even when I got home and was by myself. Maybe just maybe I CAN have my friend back least a little bit.

It didn't used to hurt this bad....

LAST NIGHT WAS A BLAST!!!!!!!!! This morning HURTS!!!!!

It was dance night again last night. Food prep was even fun, then we had our local Christmas parade, had to stop the parade for half of it to leave for a fire...

Dance time, djing wasn't so bad this time around, got to do my thing for the most part. Had a good time with friends, had a little too much to drink, ended up out AFTER the dance, had fun despite avoiding certain people.

Almost walked right outta the bar as soon as I walked in, I miss having him as a friend, I truly do, but I'm scared, finally started putting the pieces back together . I miss having him around to talk to, and last night would've been a lot more fun if I hadn't had to focus so much attention on trying to stay outta the same space he was around.

Am I strong enough to be friends with someone I was in love with for so long, and inflicted so much pain? I'm the one that let my guard down and let myself get confused about what exactly was going on. Am I stupid for wanting to be able to at least coexist with him for the fact we have many common friends and chances are when I'm out with them, he may end up there too?

I don't want to pour my heart out to him and go to him with everything, the days of him being the closest person to me are over. The last 2 times we've been in the same place, things have been alright. I've spent more time those 2 times trying to stay away from him, hence taking away from my fun evening. I didn't even cry til last night when he apologized for all the things he'd done to hurt me, pointing out things individually...

When I started this post I had planned on focusing on the fact that I'm feeling older in the fact that I didn't have that much to drink last night and the next morning after a night out didn't used to hurt so bad.....guess I got a little off track.

May be back.....feeling a little philosophical today.