DREAMS & ISSUES

Sometimes my brain works overtime when its supposed to be resting. I have never been very in tune to analizing my dreams. And a lot of the time they don't bother me, the last couple I'm remembering lately are bothering me. If they hadn't started BEFORE Obee joined my family I'd just blame it on lack of sleep and my brain going to people that are familiar.

First one was someone that used to be very important to me, BEGGING for help. It disturbed me enough, that I got ahold of him and asked if everything was ok. He now thinks I'm a nut job. I haven't dreamt of him in a long time and I don't know what triggered it.

Then imagine my surprise when he shows up in my dream again last night, with another blast from my past (which came up in conversation yesterday so I'm guessing that's where that came from). I was going to the movies with my coworkers daughters, we pulled in and the old friends car was there. In the dream it was 'oh great who are we going to run into with him'. The girls and I went into go to the movie and 2 of my old loves come out TOGETHER. There were other people that I knew but didn't stick out in my mind. The one of discussion yesterday comes up hello's hugs and the other pretends he doesn't know me. After that of course I woke up, perplexed yet again why these people are showing up in my unconcious mind.

I think it would bother me less if they were random people that I didn't know, rather than people that were an important part of my life at one point.

Then to my issues. . . I have segregated myself from my friends because of my lack of wanting to be social and go to the bar. I went to a birthday party with all of them last night, that I wasn't even aware of til 3 days before...yeah that hurt...and just really felt out of place, and was even worse when I had to leave cause I babysat for a friend last night.

I dunno, I feel out of sorts and down on myself and lonely today. And I WANT to be social today and can't find anyone to do anything. I'm my own worst enemy today.